Slug & Lede

Danielle Lierow’s story, The Girl in the Window, written by Lane DeGregory, told of a child neglected by her mother who finds hope and love in the care of her newly adoptive parents. The extremely poor conditions of which Danielle had lived in Plant City, Florida, kept her at age seven, from being able to go to the bathroom on her own or even feed herself. With the help of her adoptive parents, Danielle has made great strides in her abilities, she can now go to the bathroom, eat on her own and even convey emotions. This tragic story encompasses the many struggles Danielle’s journey has created in the hopes that one day she will be able to speak and function just as any individual would.

 In its entirety the story was quite compelling. This, for me, was an immediate strength. Although the story was rather lengthy, the in-depth details provided the listener with a knowledge and understanding of the complexities of Danielle’s situation.

 The story also provided the perspectives of various individuals connected to Danielle, from her adoptive parents to her speech therapist and finally to her mother. The story grasped each individual’s opinion, in turn creating an astounding depth to the piece.

 The reader’s voice throughout the piece was very pleasant. The reader was able to capture and convey the emotion presented by the different individuals in Danielle’s life, the way they have interacted with her now and the hope they have for her in the future.

 At times however, the reader would pause to swallow. These instances were made quite clear, as the action could be perfectly heard. I felt this issue distracted me, ultimately taking away from the vigor of the piece. If I were to re-edit this story, I would delete these areas, replacing the noise with a short pause. This would eliminate the distraction without creating an awkward transition.

 The natural sound of a silent room I felt was most appropriate for the piece. Being that this was a story being read, I felt any other sound would only have taken away from its gripping context. Within the background sound however, there were instances when the reader would turn a page. I really like this idea, as I felt it gave the immediate action depth, but her volume levels would fluctuate, making for an awkward few seconds. In order to fix this problem I would suggest a page turner, which would eliminate the reader’s need to shift her placement.

 Finally, I felt the media used for the piece was the most effective. The simple audio really allowed for the listener to focus on what the reader was saying. I felt anything added such as a slideshow would have taken away from the story itself. If only several pictures were added, demonstrating Danielle’s progress in the two years following her foster care, this could help enhance the audio.

 Overall, I felt the story was incredibly compelling, presented in an almost flawless manner.

For my first audio critique, I watched “The Girl in the Window”, a story about 6-year-old Danielle Lierow, a feral child who was severely neglected and abused by her biological parents. The story itself was touching, sad, but also important because it helped to spread awareness about child neglect and abuse.  The story and video, written by Lane DeGregory and Melissa Lyttle for The St. Petersburg Times, had many strong qualities that helped tell the story of Danielle, but also could have been improved in a few ways.

            The video had many strengths that helped tell the story of Danielle in a very unique way.  The black and white professional photos outstandingly documented many different aspects of Danielle’s life.  They helped tell the story through a photographic timeline, first with pictures from the house where Danielle was found, to her daily work with her speech therapist, and her living and growing up with her family.  The pictures were very beautiful and shed light on Danielle’s previous situation and revealed how she was growing and changing.

            The pictures also coincided well with the voices of who was speaking at the time.  When Danielle’s brother William was speaking, the video transitioned to photos of Danielle and her brother.  The same can be said for Danielle’s speech therapist as well as Danielle’s parents.  The simultaneous photos and voice of whoever was speaking at the moment helped put faces to voices.  The voices corresponding with the photos also gave each person in Danielle’s life their own special segment, showing the impact that every person has had on Danielle.

            A few aspects in the video could have been taken a step further and improved.  While it was pleasant to hear voices from the important people in Danielle’s life, the microphone seemed too far away from the speakers’mouth, giving an echo-like, hallow sound.  The distant voices hindered the video; a warmer, closer sound would give the voices more life.  More background noise and conversation between the family or the speech therapist and Danielle would have improved the audio recordings and helped them seem less distant.

            While the pictures were a substantial format in telling Danielle’s story, additional video would have improved it.  Added videos of interactions between Danielle and her family, Danielle and her speech therapist or her temper tantrums would enhance her story and more clearly exhibit a day in Danielle’s life.  The only video of Danielle had a nice transition from picture to video, but one video was not significant enough to really understand how Danielle works.  I think audience members respond more strongly to video compared to solely audio and photos.

            The narrator’s voice of the video I believe was mismatched with the story.  Many times it was too light, child-like and didn’t portray the severity or uniqueness of Danielle’s story.  I was not captivated by the narrator’s voice; and I think a stronger, more intense voice would have done the story more justice.  It seemed the least natural of all the voices, and contrasted greatly with the family and the speech therapist, which sounded more genuine in telling Danielle’s story.  The narrator was far too scripted sounding.

            Overall, “The Girl in the Window” was a high-quality news story with compelling sound bites and photos. The video had strong black and white photos, solid transitions and effective sound bites ranging from Danielle’s family to her speech therapist.  With a few minor improvements, Danielle’s story could have been brought to the next level; but overall, the story was poignant and very well done.

In Girl in the Window, Lane Degregory and Melissa Lytte reveal a both heartbreaking and hopeful story of a 7 year-old girl police found locked in a cockroach invested room wearing only a dirty diaper and lacking the ability to speak.

The short audio slide show published on The St. Peterburg Times website, is a successful compilation of black and white photographs and audio from various people in the girl’s life.

Through the use of black and white photos, Degregory and Lytte set a somber, serious mood for the story. The audio  complimented the photographs excellently, telling the story perfectly in-sync with the pictures and maintaining a steady mood and flow throughout the piece.

In addition, the authors placed noise fillers of the child’s laughter and cries in various points of the story. While the laughter successfully transitioned between pictures well, the painful shrieking noise we hear the child make at school is definitely held too long. If I were editing this piece, I would make that segment shorter because It is too painful on the listeners ears to be held for such a long time.

Another aspect of this piece I would edit out were the two moments when it became a color video. Rather than adding anything, these two images disrupted the overall flow of the black and white slide show and seemed to not fit in.

Despite these problems, “Girl in the Window” maintained success through the narration. The authors constantly, and obviously, changed the speaker while telling the story. This kept the readers attention while making it a very well rounded story.

The concluding scene of the father and child looking out the window, with “I Will” as the audio, was a perfect way to end the story. The whole piece centers on her potential to lead a healthy life with her loving family. That last lingering scene relayed hope for the child’s future, as well as the parent’s determination to help her.

Three years ago Plant City Police officers witnessed the most extreme instance of child abuse they had ever seen.  Seven-year-old Danielle had been living in a house infested with urine, feces, and cockroaches and had suffered severe neglect for most of her life.

Lane DeGregory and Melissa Lyttle’s audio piece The Girl in The Window captures Danielle’s story through a series of photos and testimonials that bring her experiences to life.

Before watching the video I listened to the audio version of the story; however, I was disappointed.   The Girl in the Window is a unique and moving story that, in my opinion, cannot be fully understood without the pictures, sounds, and testimonials from Danielle’s family that the video provided.

In general, the authors of this piece did an excellent job of bringing Danielle’s horrifying story to life.   The black and white pictures really worked well for this piece because it made them easy to relate to as if you were looking at your own family album.  I also found that the pictures were well choreographed to the voices and various testimonials from Danielle’s family members and teacher.

The use of sounds such as laughing and crying provided a good break between pictures; however, they were slightly overused.  Specifically, during the series of pictures when Danielle is at school, the crying sounds were distracting and set a very negative tone.  With everything that she has overcome, I would have liked to have seen a more positive spin put into the piece.  While it is clear that Danielle still has a lot of progress to make, the video seems to dwell on the fact that she will have a very hard time recovering from her past.

This piece definitely evoked many emotions and it was very moving to see and hear the wonderful things that the Lierows’ have done for Danielle. Hearing the family’s voices rather than reading them or hearing someone else read them took the story to a new level.  Overall, the author’s use of sound paired with the pictures and testimonials depicted the story of The Girl in the Window in a strong and moving way.  I was, however, disappointed with the way the video ended.  While the words of the song may have been relevant, it would have been more effective if it had ended with one of her family members talking about Danielle or talking and laughing with her.

Lane Degregory and Melissa Lyttle’s audio piece The Girl in the Window, features the unique story of Danielle, a feral child who was severely neglected for the first six years of her life.  This documentary, which takes place two years later, shows how Danielle is adjusting to her new life after being adopted by the Lierow family.

One thing that I thought was done really well in this piece was the photography.  The pictures are beautiful, and the viewer can really get an image of Danielle and her family in his/her mind.  The use of black and white pictures also seems to make the piece more effective.  Degregory and Lyttle did a great job of matching the pictures up with the audio clips as well.

One other thing I noticed that was really effective and kept my attention was the use of background noises.  Things like Danielle crying or laughing or the noises from her learning game in the car helped to bring the pictures to life.

One minor detail I noticed that I think could’ve been done better was the length of time a couple of the pictures were shown for.  For example, I feel like the final picture that shows Danielle being held by her dad was shown for too long.  I think the editors could’ve easily squeezed one more picture into the slideshow while still giving the viewers enough time to take in the photos. 

One other slide in particular that I felt was too long was the title page.  I felt like I was looking at the words “the girl in the window” for an excessive amount of time before anything happened.

If I had edited this piece, I wouldn’t change too many things because I think overall it’s very well put together.  One thing I might change would be to give the viewers a bit more detail and information about Danielle’s life before she was rescued.  Possibly a little bit about who could do such a thing to another human being.

I think the use of an audio slideshow was the perfect type of media to use for this story.  The still pictures allow the viewer to form a connection with Danielle and her family as opposed to a faster-moving video piece.  Also, I don’t feel like using print to tell this story would really do it justice, and the impact wouldn’t be nearly as great.

Lane DeGregory and Melissa Lyttle’s audio piece The Girl in the Window documents the rescue of Danielle, a 7 year-old feral child neglected since birth, and her eventual adoption and transition into the Lierow family.

What I thought was particularly well done within the piece was the use of Danielle’s noises as a sort of transition between speakers. These noises can be described through text, but only to an extent. By including these sound bits, the audience can better grasp how Danielle communicates and expresses herself. Likewise, the use of video dramatically enhanced the piece by giving the viewer insight into her movements and reactions. The way the single picture merged into video was also an interesting approach for a transition.

I also found that the pictures coincided with the audio content really well. In most instances the speaker was usually shown in picture at the same time. Some viewers, like myself, connect better with lots of visuals rather than strict audio, therefore being able to match faces with voices was helpful in identifying key individuals.

Yet not all of the noises used within the piece were necessary. One in particular was about midway through. All that was heard was a game being played, but just that. Nothing coming from Danielle is audible, just the noises of a loud game I couldn’t help but wonder what the purpose of including this specific sound bit was therefore I found it a little distracting. Secondly I didn’t like how the piece ended. I could see why the song “I Will” would be chosen. The lyrics make that obvious. Yet to me it just felt a little out of nowhere and awkward.

If I could have done things differently I probably would have changed the ending. Towards the very end Danielle’s adoptive father Bernie Lierow had a wonderful quote where he says, “it’s all about the hugs and kisses.” As he says this, one can detect his voice start to break with emotion. I believe that using this audio would have been a better choice as an ending rather than the song. It’s much more personal, summarizing the way this father feels about his daughter.

Overall I think the format of an audio slideshow was effective for this story. As I stated before, I thought that the inclusion of bits of video was a brilliant move. One thing that I would have liked to see more of was Danielle’s life before the Lierow’s. There was a brief bit in the beginning that described the rancid conditions that Danielle suffered in, but it definitely could have been expanded on a bit more.